Surprise surprise. I'm finding it increasingly difficult to talk about G-d. Not because I don't believe in something. I do. But I just can't talk about it, can't name it. Chaplains--whether they like to or not--represent religious tradition. When we walk in the room, people have assumptions about who we are, what we believe and what we are there to do. Often times this works to an advantage. But every once in a while, I am struck by how little I actually reflect those assumptions. No classical doctrine of G-d works for me. Not one. If anything, I think G-d is something that happens. But even that's far fetched. While watching a video on youtube today, I stumbled across a quote by Toni Morrison: "We die. That may be the meaning of life. But we do language. That may be the measure of our lives." How I do language, in this job, in this life--it matters. I will not sell my patients, people with guts and resounding vulnerability, a false comfort I don't believe in just to ease momentary suffering.