Yuck Yuck Yuck

I have often asked myself the question "Where are people my age?" I found out last night: they are at the bar.

Good to know.

I have often asked myself the question "Why don't I hang out with people my age more often?" I found out last night: because they are at the bar.

Having a blog allows you to go on the record, right? Well here it goes...

I'm tired of the lack of substance that seems to pervade the relational matrix of 20/30 somethings. Why does drinking or getting high have to be the catalyst for connection? Why do most conversations consist of mindless rambling about shit that nobody cares about? Why is getting laid, or appearing like you're getting laid, the ultimate goal?

Fuck: it's beyond me, really. Am I totally alone on this?

Further: I'm tired of hearing people say "i miss you," or "we should hang out more often" or "let's be friends" or "i've always wanted to hang with you" one minute and then when I reach out to make that happen, it's flake flake flake. Fuck that. We can keep it casual; miss me with the butterfly flattery.

I guess underneath all this ranting and raving is a hurt. It's difficult to reach out, to invite, to admit that you crave someones company. When that vulnerability gets dismissed, it feels like shit. And honestly, it makes you want to stop doing it. It's like job hunting. After you get turned down after a couple interviews, even filling out an application feels like a set-up for rejection.

I'm worried that facebook, myspace, texting, blogging--all this techno madness that I'm so clearly swimming in--is making us relationally impotent. It's easy to sound off some friendly remarks on a website, but where's the intimacy in that? Where's the facial expression, the voice, where's touch? Screens and sound bytes--that's what we've got. Where the fuck is reality??

Sorry to sound so judgmental and critical, but it's where I'm at this morning.