All in One Day

Muni Line 19 departing Polk & Pine: The saddest blue eyes I've ever seen
on a girl wearing a dirtied black jacket with
the hood propped over her unintentionally
dreadlocked hair. Complete abject senselessness. A deadness.
Right there, in her eyes, not even looking at me, just
existing because eyes do that: they exist. Exist like the scars
on her arms. Exist like the dollars being passed from her
to the junkie behind the man behind the man behind the woman
sitting next to me. She sees that I see her misery. No blink.
I ask myself: "Where did her life go?"

Oakland on High St: My full-time lover spends $315 in order
to reclaim his stolen 1986 Honda Camry located at the Junk Yard 20 miles away
where the police had it towed. The dashboard is open,
all the papers are tossed about, there's a random glove on
the passenger side and the steering wheel is bent to shit. After driving it off
the tow yard, the car won't start again, so he might be late to
work where the other tired shift-workers making $11/hour to take care
of behaviorally disturbed youth are waiting for him. $315 dollars.
I ask my full-time lover: "Why did you have to pay?"

Oakland, corner of 41st & Telegraph: One of the regular
homeless men who hangs around the block is stroking his cock
on the tree outside our apartment building. He looks me
dead in the eye as he masterbates: no smile, no fascination,
no guilt. He doesn't move to cover up as I get closer. I shut
the front door behind me and ask myself:"Did that really just happen?"

Couch: My doctor emails from KP.org. No cancer; just cysts. Thank G*d.
Couch: I turn in my 2 week notice to SafeHouse. A chapter closes.
Marina: Mae and Chris with the water.
Newburry: Pick up Joy Lynn. Go to the gym.

Berkeley, corner of Virginia & Arch: "Em, they just announced their
unanimous support of Barack Obama at the DNC...I never thought...in my lifetime.
These are tears of joy, Em. It's a moment we will never forget.
Call me when you get a chance. I love you." She's crying hard. My mom.
I ask myself: "Really, all in one day?"