The End

Some of you know I began my loyalty to the HBO series The Sopranos last summer. When the semester started in the Fall of 07 I took a break because I couldn't watch and study with equal focus. I had only the discs of season 6 part 2 (which came to about 8 episodes) to watch during this winter recess. I finally got to "Made in America" last night. I don't even know what to say. Many of my friends built up "the end" so much that I anticipated several things: Tony's death, drama with Melfi, an arrest of the entire crew by the CIA. But no. No no no. Perhaps my friends hyped the end with such energy b/c the end itself lacks any consistency with the show itself. That is what's so jarring about it. I can't say I'm totally disappointed because at bottom I appreciate ambiguity in 'ends' (and beginnings too for that matter). If nothing else, The Sopranos reflects real life: endings, in real life, are full of ambiguity. But damn, the woven crescendo of events in the last two episodes, and the building of tension in that last scene, left me on the edge of my seat, grabbing for the remote to rewind, asking "wait, did I miss something?" That wasn't authentic, real-life, ambiguity; that was a script writer handing millions of fans a case of viewer blue balls. I vacillate between feeling sad and curious: like maybe if I keep thinking about it hard enough, or recall enough subliminal messaging from episodes past, I might "get it." Truth is: I love The Sopranos like I have never loved anything on television prior to. The series made me think, hard. I didn't want it to end that way. But as I sit here dissatisfied with "Made in America," I'm forced to think about how my investment in anything impacts the way I think it "should" and "shouldn't" die--all the more when I have a developed, strong love of that thing. So the thinking, hard, continues. Perhaps the sign of a brilliant screenplay? Or maybe just another (Buddhist) lesson about the nature of attachment...