Dear Grandma:

Peace be with you. Now and everlasting.

I do not believe in the afterlife so I write this letter for the remnants of your soul still spinning and searching for freedom within the bodies of your descendants, most specifically the parts of you pumping through the veins of your daughter (my mother) and her daughter (yours truly). I write this letter because I want you to know some things. I want to affirm some things for her and for me, for you beloved womyn.

First off: we are doing the work. Please know this. We are doing the work of liberation through sitting and sifting and shifting. We have taken the struggles of gender formation, consumption, religious freedom and sexual development and made them our own. You gave us this task and in many ways we are doing this work because you could not for lack of resources, support, for the lack of possibilities womyn had during your time to carve out lives of justice and equality for themselves. I grieve the lack of possibilities you had, grieve this in bodied life. I see the eclipse of possibility playing itself in how hard we both struggle today, my mother and I, to find place and purpose in the systems of domination and death you encountered full throttle and we continue to confront (although the struggles look and feel different today). I pray for compassion in the face of our struggle. My mom is a warrior. I am a warrior. Thank you for giving life to that.

Secondly: when we get tired of the work, when it feels too exhausting, too overwhelming and too sad there is always the chance that we'll stop and give up. But we haven't. Over the years we have taken it upon ourselves to push on, to press against one another in loving ways so that your healing might unfold in the infinite web of relations we've consciously and unconsciously weaved. This means our romance lives, our food intake, our religious devotion and our bodily becoming host the work of redemption. There was so much body deprivation. When we exercise instead of remain stagnant, we are setting you free. There was so much silencing. When we refuse to stay quiet and exercise power in boardrooms, town hall meetings, our partnerships and with one another, we are unlocking your legacy. There was so much religious control. When we find rituals that fit our truth instead of blindly submitting to authorities that lie about divinity, we honor your presence among us. There was so much secrecy and discrediting of mental health. When we open in therapy and pour our guts into shared vulnerable space, often relinquishing comfort and security for the promise of wholeness, we place power together which includes you over the fear-based individualism that kept you suffocated and locked up. There was so much biblical interpretation that produced hatred of skin. When we dare to love our bodies, instead of starving them or outsourcing their pleasure to idols, when we take joy in the flesh instead of paying allegiance to texts that would shame it, we are loving you. There was so much rigidity, so much scarcity and lack. When we refuse to be sex objects or materialistic robots to the ominous forces of capitalism, we remember you and honor you. This is not easy work. We get tired and we fuck up. Please see the exhaustion and weariness, not as signs of burden, but as proof of our commitment to you. This work takes extraordinary discipline; it is our gift to you.

Third: This work is not just for us. This work is for the world: for all the people we currently see, hear, work with and love. This work is for those we've never encountered but might be impacted by the ripple effect that happens when anyone, anywhere takes it upon themselves to heal and to show up in this world alive, not dead, not dying but alive and living. And this work is for G-d, the creating, redeeming and sustaining power that holds all of us in everlasting arms, a G-d who held you and holds us no matter the mountains in need of move. This G-d will take your pain, our work and a future full of potential for Her own. She will resurrect the eclipsed possibilities of your life and make a way in our lives, in the lives of those to come and we will be saved. Most importantly, this saving work will continue. There was no official beginning to the struggle; I'm sure your suffering came from a bloodline beyond your recollection. There will be no end to this saving work because grace is real and we are willing. You can rest, now, in peace because we know that grace is real and we are willing to live.