My favorite patient left today,
discharged
taking with him
all that PTSD, all that sorrow,
all that "what if" stuff that can so quickly
deaden his ability to recognize good things
like how quickly he opened up to me,
how easy it was for me to pastor to him,
how the other guys followed his example
and spoke about their experience
instead of white knuckling it inside.
My favorite patient left today,
discharged
taking with him
all that courage, all that soul-searching honesty,
all the "casualties of war" that can so quickly
trigger him into believing it's all violence and terror.
My favorite patient left today,
discharged
but I'm still here,
still showing up on the unit where guys just like him
make decisions to surrender or keep the wheel turning,
still here hoping another one like him sits on the chair to my left,
still here missing him already,
thanking G-d for the beauty he brought,
thanking G-d for the little crack he chiseled in my heart,
thanking G-d that he was one of my "firsts"
and hoping wherever he goes,
whatever he does,
he never forgets what it felt like to be heard,
because I will never forget what it felt like to listen to him.
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