Statement

Why I am skeptical of heterosexual marriage...

Men and women have had fundamentally unequal power relations throughout most of history in most places. Men have acquired undue privilege and women have acquired undue oppression. Marriage is a partnership contract, one that fundamentally relies on the equality of the individuals within the contract to speak/act for themselves and to make decisions based in/on the welfare of the relationship. Without having undergone serious work around dismantling male privilege, men cannot be equal partners with women. And even then, men are not immune from bringing male domination into heterosexual marriage in all the unavoidable ways our society sets up. Without serious work of healing and empowerment, women cannot be equal partners with men. And even then, women are not immune from bringing internalized/externalized sexism into marriage in all the unavoidable ways our society sets up.

I am not saying healthy heterosexual marriage is an impossibility. I am saying its unlikely.